


Meanwhile, back at the ranch

by wildmachinery



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-06
Updated: 2005-06-06
Packaged: 2017-10-16 04:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildmachinery/pseuds/wildmachinery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This mission had been too unbelievably miserable to not end in beer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meanwhile, back at the ranch

"As far as we could tell, sir, the planet was uninhabited," Carter said. "Preliminary surveys revealed no evidence of unusual elements or materials. It was pretty much just standard, carbon-based ... well, everything, sir." She shrugged. "Except for the weather, it was perfectly normal."

"The weather," Hammond repeated.

"Sucked," Jack muttered darkly.

Carter pointedly didn't look at him. "Extremely high levels of precipitation, sir. And I should probably mention the," she winced slightly, and continued, "insect population, as well."

"What about the insect population?"

"Oh, you know, sir," Jack said breezily. The sooner he could get off-base, the better; his knee was acting up from the damp on PX5-whatever, and he was sure that there was still some mud in his ear that Fraiser had missed. He wanted this day to end soon, and in beer. Good beer, too, not that light Canadian crap that Daniel kept around; he always denied it, of course, but Jack was pretty sure that Daniel stocked up on the stuff just to piss him off. "Just the usual." This mission had been too unbelievably miserable to not end in beer.

Hammond gave him a look so dry it could have wiped out a continent. "You have yet to reassure me, Colonel."

Lots of beer. Jack sighed. "It was wet, sir. It was dark. There was mud in quantities previously unknown to me. There were big ..." he gestured expressively, "bugs." Maybe some pizza.

"Bugs."

Jack nodded, poker-faced. "Big ones, sir."

Silence followed this pronouncement. Teal'c raised an eyebrow and looked steadily at the table. Daniel cleared his throat. "General, there were no indications of any type of civilization during our explorations. It's possible that the Goa'uld simply felt that the planet was too inhospitable for colonization." Jack refrained from commenting. No need to make an endless debriefing about the universe's most worthless planet even worse.

"Hm," said Hammond. "Teal'c?"

Teal'c wrinkled his nose; he was probably thinking of the water spiders. "It was indeed most unpleasant, General Hammond."

Jack smiled beatifically at him. "Yes, it was. Unpleasant and useless." He wanted to be at home, with ESPN and the Red Wings. Hell, at this point, he'd be happy with TSN and curling. "In my professional opinion, sir, we should never go back there." He paused for effect. "Ever."

Hammond did his little eye-rolling thing that he probably thought was subtle. Jack tried not to twitch and failed, beating out manic little rhythms on his kneecaps under the table. "I await your final reports with bated breath. You're dismissed."

"Thank you, sir," Jack said sincerely, and got the hell out of there.

* * *

He'd left dishes in the sink before going offworld. Something that might once have been a half-eaten bowl of cereal now had some sort of greenish fuzz living in it. Jack bent down to peer at it and grimaced. Home again, home again; maybe the mud planet hadn't been that bad after all. He squirted dishsoap liberally over the whole mess, turned on the hot water, and proceeded to ignore it.

Opening the refrigerator was more of a shock. "Huh," he said. Apples. Peanut butter. Orange juice. A carton of milk that he really didn't want to look at too closely. No beer. He blinked sadly. "Crap."

He was standing by the hall table, staring blankly at his keys and wondering if he had the energy to get out and go to the store, when there was a heavy knock at the door.

It was Teal'c. "Nice hat," Jack told him.

Teal'c tilted his head minutely. "Thank you, O'Neill. We have brought beer." He easily hoisted up two six-packs of Guinness for inspection, and gestured back at the driveway. "There are also pizzas."

"Yeah?" Daniel was only half-visible, handing off pizza boxes to Carter from the back seat of his car. They were amiably arguing about something that sounded way too complicated for Jack's taste; Daniel made a broad, sweeping gesture with his free arm and said something that made Carter laugh, honest and sweet. Jack tried not to smile.

Teal'c nodded gravely. "They contain pineapple. Daniel Jackson assured me that I would enjoy it."

"Yes," Jack replied knowingly, "he does that."

"Hi, Jack," Daniel called out, his arms full of pizza.

Jack waved as they drew closer. "This is good, proactive thinking, here," he said, casting a long, loving look at the boxes of food. "There may be a couple of commendations in it for you."

"We just thought we'd stop by," Carter told him, smiling brightly. She brushed past him to deposit her own armful of pizza boxes on the dining room table, and suddenly cocked her head to the side. "Sir, did you leave your water running?" She wandered toward the kitchen. Teal'c followed her, carrying the beer. Jack counted down the seconds until she saw the sink; he was up to seven before a surprised, "Oh, _wow_ ," floated back to them.

Daniel looked over at him. "Left the dishes again?"

Jack sighed. "Yeah."

Daniel nodded sympathetically. "Yeah."

* * *

It was warm and clear and, most importantly, dry, out in the fading dusk. Carter and Daniel were playing a quiet, intense little game of hockey with a bottlecap, flicking it back and forth to each other across the wooden table with expressions of the utmost seriousness. Teal'c watched them with brotherly indulgence; he was on his fifth bottle of Guinness, with no apparent effect on him.

Jack gently shook his own empty bottle, gazing at it mournfully. Without taking his eyes off the bottlecap between Carter's fingers, Daniel leaned over to pluck another beer from the bucket of ice by his chair. He handed it wordlessly to Jack. Their fingers brushed; Jack kept up the contact a beat too long. Daniel glanced at him interestedly then, out of the corner of his eye. Carter took advantage of his distraction, and flicked the bottlecap past him to score. She crowed delightedly, and beamed in response to Teal'c's low chuckle; Jack saw the look of consternation on Daniel's face and almost laughed himself. Daniel blinked at him slowly, languorously, and leaned back in his chair. His eyes were soft and a little muddled.

They'd sat in a circle like this on the last planet, cold and wet and miserable, huddling close around the hissing fire. Teal'c had been silent and impassive, occasionally swatting at the squeaking, twelve-legged spiders that had skittered across the surfaces of ponds and puddles. Carter had read and reread her survey results, endlessly, ignoring the spiders and obviously bored out of her mind. Jack had sat dripping in the near-dark with his gun in his lap, Daniel standing behind with his hand cupped carefully over the back of Jack's neck, protective.

They sat like this on every planet, keeping watch for each other.

* * *

He did an impromptu sobriety check on Carter before letting her leave. She passed, grinning, and climbed onto her motorcycle with Teal'c hanging on behind. Jack waited until they were out of sight before closing the door, Daniel a warm, quiet presence behind him. "I didn't know she could recite the alphabet backwards," Jack said.

"I can, too," Daniel told him. He slid his hands onto Jack's waist, slow and careful. "It's actually not that hard."

"Freak," Jack said fondly, and turned around.

Daniel was nodding. "Yeah, I suppose." He kept his eyes cast down, staring steadily at his hand against the worn black cotton of Jack's t-shirt. Jack followed his gaze, and swallowed. Daniel smiled, sudden and sweet, and looked up through his lashes; he leaned forward to brush his lips along Jack's jaw, the corner of his mouth. His cheeks were rough with stubble, and made Jack sigh. Daniel kissed him then, slow and deep, and this was it, this was real, this was coming home.

His lips buzzed; Daniel was mumbling something, and Jack shifted away to explore new territory. Daniel's hands were fisted in Jack's shirt; his skin was warm and salty, and tasted faintly of chicory. "You good now?" he asked absently. Jack hummed an affirmative and bit gently. Daniel gasped. Jack grinned against his neck; his bedroom was right down the hall, the water spiders were all but forgotten, and Daniel probably wouldn't even mind if he caught the last few minutes of Sportscenter.

Yeah. Good day.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at [sg1_flashfic](http://community.livejournal.com/sg1_flashfic/2430.html).


End file.
